....I can never get away from your presence! If I go up to Heaven, you are there. If I go to the place of the dead, you are there. Psalm 139:7,8 NLT
This scripture came to my mind this morning as I was attempting some deeply philosophical quiet time with the Lord. It was not, however, applied to the omnipresence of God Almighty, but to the omnipresence of the Mabry children. No matter where I go, there they are! If not all, then at least one. It's like they have gotten together to conspire an evil plan never ever to leave their mother alone, least she regain some sort of sanity. It's working brilliantly.
I have spent the majority of my Saturday morning irritated. All I wanted was to be left alone, to pray, to write, to seek the Lord. But from the second my feet hit the floor it has been one constant thing after the next. Chocolate milk, Dora, cereal, cinnamon rolls, chocolate milk, cuddling, breaking up fights, cleaning up spilled skittles, lunch, more chocolate milk and countless questions needing answers RIGHT NOW! After the last time being interrupted I went to hide in the shower. Not that me showering ever stops anyone from busting through my doors, but at least the fear of seeing their mother in her natural state keeps them at a distance. It was in the shower that I started to whine. "Lord", I said, "All I wanted to do was spend time with you this morning. To sit at Your feet and soak up Your Glory. But these kids you gave me won't let that happen! It's their fault!" Hahaha! I am a 33 year old woman who sounded an awful lot like my 3 year old son. But it was the way I felt, so it was what I said. The Lord, in all of His wisdom and simplicity answered me. He said, "So get up earlier." Really, Lord? That's all You've got? Get up earlier? Silence. I guess that's all He had, but it got me to thinking. And that's what He wanted all along. Me, thinking.
I started thinking about how I have made my children feel all morning. Every time they would approach me I would cringe. Not because I don't love them, but because I just didn't want them there at that particular moment. The thing is, they didn't know the reason why. They simply saw the cringe. I started thinking about the times my husband would try to talk to me and I would look at him with a look that said, "Hello, don't you know I'm trying be spiritual right now?" I'm sure he was thinking he liked me better before my quest for glory began. I was thinking that I am beginning to understand what Paul meant when he wrote I Corinthians 7.
God made Eve for Adam and He said, "That is good". God made me for Russ and He said, "That is good". I Corinthians 7 isn't at all about the the displeasure that comes from the Lord when we marry and our hearts are indeed divided. It's the Lord saying to us, "Look, this is going to happen, and it's ok!" As wholly as I am a daughter of the Most High, I too am a wife to my husband and a mother to my children. Not only is it impossible for me to separate these aspects of my life from each other, but it has also never been required of me to do so! God, in all of His unending grace, provides a way for a longing heart to find Him in the midst of the chaos. He says simply, "Wake up earlier." You see, unlike my children, God really is omnipresent. Whenever we seek, He is there waiting. It's ok to set my bible down for the sake of chocolate milk because when my responsibilities are done, He is still there. God does His part by always being available. I have to do my part by waking up early enough to meet Him.